Unlike most people who forge the most wonderful thoughts of the day while showering, hence shower thought, I am not most people and I don't take very long showers. Showers for me are like part of routine that needs be completed pronto. My best thoughts of the day happen in bed pre, or post-sleep. I get to meditate and reflect back a lot before slumber (though it's morning for me, downer!). And after sleeping, if I'm not lazy enough to jot down on my dream journal, I reflect on things that come to my mind in my mandatory munimuni part of the day, minutes after waking up. This is my shower thought equivalent. And that keeps me sane. Away from the rut. My alone time.
As I debut this portion on my blog, I welcome you to one of the most recent results of this habit.
The premise is this: We are born and nurtured by parents (or in the case of adoptive parents -- foster parents). Human babies are so fragile we are rendered useless until the moment we're able to walk, talk, be coherent and decide on our own. Heck, nurturers may be very protective of their young until they're able to fend for themselves in high school or college. For us Filipinos, this goes beyond teenage years. In the natural cycle of things, reproductively, parents and carers do their job to the best of their ability to lay the ground for the new generation of offsprings that their youngins will bear forth next. That's an unbreakable cycle. Since the time of Lucy, and other prehistoric humans, it has always been that goal, survival, breeding and making sure the future is still populated by our kind. Yes we work, make friends, party, and do what we want but in the end, if you're like me, I too would want to settle with a family of my own in the future thereby ensuring that I fall into my own place in the same cycle as my parents and their parents before them.
How absurd life really is if that's all there is to it?
If you've read Faust I, some analogous understanding may transpire here because the main character has complained about how difficult the toil of daily living is, what good is there to life when all you do and achieve is for naught because in one swift flick, death meets us all? I know! Irony.
The exact line may bring nostalgia so I'm including that here just because I can: "What matters creative endless toil, When, at a snatch, oblivion ends the coil?"
Yet Faust deals with the devil. I don't and much as I keep my religious tenets check, I know the simple answer is beyond religion but finding meaning and purpose (Frankl anyone?). But that doesn't present me with a concrete plan to take. I stepped closer into more options.
With these thoughts my mandatory munimuni brought me into a number of possible alternate futures that I can take instead of the one I know and want (I always, always justify this because just falling into the cycle looks like my entire existence has been predetermined. That's something inhuman, unfair and unsatisfactory therefore highly unacceptable!).
Yet Faust deals with the devil. I don't and much as I keep my religious tenets check, I know the simple answer is beyond religion but finding meaning and purpose (Frankl anyone?). But that doesn't present me with a concrete plan to take. I stepped closer into more options.
With these thoughts my mandatory munimuni brought me into a number of possible alternate futures that I can take instead of the one I know and want (I always, always justify this because just falling into the cycle looks like my entire existence has been predetermined. That's something inhuman, unfair and unsatisfactory therefore highly unacceptable!).
1) I don't marry nor have kids, that way I don't fall into the same cycle. But as much as this is a very convincing move I am no fool. I am okay to be alone but loneliness is a different thing. I love companionship and personal attachments. I'm lucky to nurture these things with friendships and romantic relationships, PLUS, I've always imagined life with little versions of me and my loving behalf. So nah, this is off the table. And mind you even if I'm loveless or this current thing doesn't work out, I will still strive my way to finding someone to be with. It's happier that way. I'm quaint and have sometimes off-putting eccentric tendencies so finding someone who I can share my true self with is a personal conviction I don't want to live without. Dying lonely might be my worst nightmare.
2) I marry and work out my passion. This is like two things in life that I love both in one solution. A win-win so to say. If I love what I do, I don't get tired, pushed over, nor will I feel de-motivated. So even if I will have my own family (hopefully), I can still work and live at the same time. How to do that is up to me. I know my passions well even before I am able to personalize with people. And what better way to start that but next year.
3) Have FUN. As a workaholic, I have tried my best to mellow down. I found a lot of ways to do that this year. More movie and series marathon, anyone? I now also have set plans for 2016 to make my life better with fun and work side by side. My plans to buy a bike (and to god damn run daily to achieve a better healthy disposition) has been offset by some unforeseen things this month (big bummer!) and many months before it. But I always assure myself that with more determination, I am on my way to getting what I want to balance with the needs I am currently enjoying.
Well, who could have thought, blogging is enjoyable again with my munimuni topics (and that I can actually write something this smooth in one sitting just for a few minutes of my time after waking up! XD). Till next time folks!
PS:
I know I'm suppose to keep a promise to myself to blog and write often and publish my thoughts as much as I do the munimuni's daily. So I a ending 2015 with something to keep that promise alive. I may have last written actively last February so keeping this promise as much as I could will be next in line. And perhaps some more! 2016, I can't wait to greet you with open arms.
#
Comments
Post a Comment